February Rasslin Update!
Alright y'all, saw the last coupla pay-per-views and they were all ripoffs purty much. I'm glad I don't pay fer that crap.
Paul Bearer attacked the Undertaker again at the WWF Royal Rumble by a knockin him over the head with the urn during his match with Vader. When the Undertaker woke up and found that he'd been pinned by Vader he went crazy and tombstoned the referee and then got in Vince McMahons face and said "Somebody's going to teach you about law and order and his name is The Undertaker!"
Now Goldust got cheated out of his match too. Hunter Hearst Helmsley hit him over the head with the Intercontinental Belt. Goldust has been real crazy lately cos Hunter's been tryin to steal Marlena away and y'all know that in real life that Marlena and Goldust are married!
Now Undertaker, Vader, and Bret the Hitman Hart all got illegally eliminated from the Royal Rumble Battle Royal by Stunning Steve Austin. So they announced on Monday Night Raw (check it out now Y'all) that at the next pay-per-view there will be a 4-man no time-limit/no disqualification match involving the aforementioned guys and the winner goes ta Rasslemania and a shot and the title!
So they all were in the ring together the other night on tv tellin the champ Shawn Michaels how they were gonna get him. The Undertaker tol' him that he'd better get his soul right with the Lord cos that belt was a gettin ready ta come on over ta the Dark Side!
Hell I betcha I could take Shawn Michaels, in fact, Hick'ry is a layin the challenge out right now! Michaels, ya always been a punkass idjit and I'm a gonna come down there to the WWF an I'm a gonna beat yer sorry ass and there ain't no dancin in the world a gonna save ya when 120 pounds a livin switchblade comes down from the top rope on yer head!!!!
Right, well the NWO Souled Out pay-per-view purty much was crap! They done some funny stuff though, like havin no music fer the WCW guys and fer each match this voice would come over the PA a sayin "loser, loser". Diamond Dallas Page had a cool match against Scott Norten and during the match Hall and Nash (the Outsiders, formerly Razor Ramon and Diesel) came in there and offfered DDP membership in the NWO and he tol'em okay, then when were'nt nobody lookin, he put the Diamond Cutter on everbody and ran outta the ring! The Steiners won the belts from the Outsiders and then they gave'em back on Monday Night! What a couple lame ass wimps! Ya don't give a world title back! A guy asks ya fer his belt, ya hit him in the head with it and then ya say "BROTHER, YA WANT YER BELT BACK, WELL YA GOTTA WALK THAT AISLE TA GET IT BACK! TA BE THE MAN, YA GOTTA BEAT THE MAN!" I mean I jest can't believe it! Maybe I need ta go down ta the WCW after I whip Shawn Michaels and teach them boys how ta Rassle!!!
One more thang now and this here is BIG!! The next WCW pay-per-view main event is a gonna be "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan v.s. Rowdy Roddy Piper! And this time, it's fer the belt! Also, Macho Man Randy Savage is back! He ain't Rassled yet but he'll be back in the ring soon. Right now he's a jest hangin round lookin scary!
Well y'all thats it fer Rasslin right now, til next time, REST IN PEACE!
Hick
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January Rasslin Update
